A major terrorist threat was averted earlier this morning when a number of suitcases containing high explosive failed to arrive at BA's flagship new Terminal 5 at London's Heathrow airport.
The bags, belonging to three passengers on a flight from Tehran, are instead believed to be en route to the Falkland Islands with a one hour stopover at the US Air Force base at Guantanamo Bay.
BA Chairman Willie Walsh hailed the failure of the plot as a major PR coup for the airline: "If we hadn't completely fucked up the baggage handling in this situation the consequences would have been catastrophic. It's about time people started giving us a little credit for the good things we do" he added, "even if they are as a result of our total incompetence and ineptitude".
Naomi Campbell is still angry.
