2008 Miss East Coast winner, Kirsten Hagland, broke a nail yesterday while in the airport. So, she called her friend, who asked to remain anonymous, and started yelling about how she broke her nail.
Due to the Patriot Act, however, her phone was being tapped. So, President Bush claimed that her broken nail was really code for having weapons of mass destruction.
Consequently, he sent a team of soldiers to invade her house. He also bombed her house.
She is now reportedly dead, and President Bush is investigating whether other beauty queens have weapons of mass destruction.
He will call this act the Beauty Bomber Act, and says that if it is discovered that any beauties have these weapons, that the federals will act swift and furiously.