Written by NewYorkversusLondon

Monday, 21 April 2008

image for Vagina Breakfast Platter?
Red sauce on your eggs love?

A Stoke woman has hit the big time after deciding to serve breakfast from her vagina.

31-year old Maureen Baker says she 'came' upon the idea whilst bored at home.

"I was preparing baked beans on toast for my Jack Russell Terry, and decided to pour the beans down my knickers."

Maureen says she pulled down her pants and let Terry lick the beans from her vag.

"He was lappping it up and wagging his tail" she said.

Maureen decided that if Terry could take so much pleasure from eating his breakfast from her hairy plate, motorists would enjoy the same and decided to open a roadside cafe.

Maureen started saving three pounds a week from her dole check, and after eight years, had enough to buy a roadside porta cabin on the A449.

First customer Barry Barber, a hairdresser and neighbour, was delighted.

"I ordered two eggs. She fried them up, lay on the floor, and tipped the eggs on her twat. I put some pepper on it and munched away."

Maureen says she has learnt to live with the pain and inevitable blisters caused by placing piping hot food on her poontang.

"It's not usually a problem although one woman was chewing on a flap blister thinking it was a piece of bacon gristle."

Maureen prefers to keep her menu simple and affordable- punters can enjoy- Egg on Twat, Beans on Cunt, or Banger Up A Twanger.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Food, vagina

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
87 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more