London: (Mayfair Slammer): Pete Doherty, who has been arrested for trying to smoke the Olympic Torch being carried through London, has been caught using heroine in jail.
"Think about it. This is the best place to do drugs. You can't get arrested because you already have been and you can't go to jail because you are already there. It's brilliant!"
Doherty is planning a concert when released. Concertgoers will be encouraged to use a drug of their choice on his cue, and be imprisoned.
"Once everyone is arrested they can continue to wreck themselves to their hearts, or budgets, content in jail. I will sell crack to the poor and Whitney Houston all the way up to high end cocaine to JK Rowling. Why didn't I think of this before?""
He was probably too high.
"I will have to get started on this new idea right away, but for now, I need another snort, a joint and a pizza."
