London - (Ass Mess): "A lavishly revamped coat of arms featuring ancestral Puppet Monarchy symbols is to be unveiled this week," a Royal Mint source said today.
The new heraldic designs will appear on low denomination coins and will feature the Swastika to reflect her paternal bloodlines.
The hammer and sickle, emblems of her dictator uncle Joseph Stalin, will appear on 1p, 2p, 5p and 10p coins.
The crossed fingers and the Loch Ness Monster Rampant will join a Scottish Kipper on the 20p in recognition of World War II Fascist collaboration by the family of the Queen Mother, the Bowes-Lyons clan.
The 50p coin will show a likeness of Poodlebrothers Bush and Blair in recognition of their fronting the flag of convenience that traded under the banner of the Provisional IRA.
There will be no Welsh-themed heraldic emblems because the Royal Mint is afraid of putting sheep-shagger Charles on any British currency.
"However we might do a number of iron pyrites slot machine tokens with his face on, just for a bit of a lark really," the source added cheekily.
Camilla is 69.
