London - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): London astrologers have said that Margaret Thatcher is on her last legs, may not survive the night in hospital and will be eclipsed in death of her rightful headline-grabbing glory by a double whammy demise of an even bigger confidence trickster than herself.
"We've looked at her chart," a Non-Aligned Mayfair Witches' Coven stargazer said this evening.
"Nasty business. Full of Nazis. Nothing but trouble from the word go.
"This weekend's Pisces new moon and the mars/pluto opposition will get right up her arse astrologically speaking.
"Chances of a fatal myocardial infarction are now 11/10fav.
"But if she snuffs it she won't be alone.
"We reckon her death will be overshadowed by that of a much greater Whore on Terra scrounger.
"It's Saturday's sun/uranus conjunction at 18 degrees Pisces. Slap bang on the Puppet Monarch's karmic fault line.
"It would make a really ironic bit of astrological schadenfreude (sic) if the two old bats kick the bucket together on International Women's Day, hey!"
At Buckingham Palace all is quiet, eerily quiet in fact.... as if some cosmic pregnant moment were about to break the amniotic fluids.
Camilla is incontinent.
