London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Two buildings which once housed Margaret Thatcher's notorious Tory Party headquarters are set to become the new Hellfire Club super embassy in London, according to sources.
The Hellfire Club has complained for over a decade that finding somewhere to fly their flag in the Das Capital has proved to be a problem.
But following secret dodgy dealings by former Prime Monster John "Tosser" Major and UK real estate giant Land Insecurities plc two former flagship sites in Smith Square and Victoria Street are set being considered for a hellfire future at last.
A previous dodgy deal failed on a property in Old Whore Street when the landlord would not allow the Hellfire Club to fly their European Union flag of convenience "in case it frightened little children lunching in McDonalds just over the road".
The Tories sold 32 Smith Square to property developers earlier this year in a £30.5m deal despite knowing damned well that they didn't actually own the building and had lost three consecutive High Court cases in ownership claims.
A subsequent House of Lords adjudication ruled that John Major and pals had hired a series of hitmen "to take out" the rightfull owner of the site after running up legal bills in excess of £10 million.
Attorneys for the sites' legal owners were rubbing their hands with glee today after a series of "excellent meetings" with the Serious Fraud Squad, MI5 and the Anti-Terror cops.
"Buch of tossers, these Tories," was the only printable statement on the subject.