Written by K.C. Bell

Friday, 7 March 2008

image for John McCain Picks Bush As Veep

John McCain selected Laura Bush as his running mate for President of the United States. Sighting that she has equal experience to Hillary Clinton: living in the White House; sleeping with the president; traveling to over fifty nations with the President; meeting dignitaries from all over the world in the White House; having been married to a former Governor; and kicking husband George awake for those 3 A.M. red telephone calls, each of which for the last seven years.

Ms. Bush also brings to the ticket a sparkling reputation absent of: rumors of a husband with a roving eye; no Paula Jones women in his CV; shenanigans with a White House intern labeled a right-wing conspiracy until a stained blue dress surfaced; Travel-gate firings; Whitewater-gate real estate venture; frequent rental of the Lincoln bedroom; and the current refusal to release tax returns or telephone logs while living in the White House. And finally, presenting Republican Presidential candidate McCain and the United States a two for one'er: Laura is married to George W. Bush.

Informed that McCain had selected Laura Bush as his running mate, flames started shooting out of Hillary Clinton's ears, nose and throat. She demanded that Barack Obama become her running mate, and he declined, saying she opened new frontiers for the audacity of hope. Smiling with a wide grin, she automatically began clapping her hands, pointing over his shoulder, as though delighted to recognize an old pal in the empty room.

Finding her stymied, Dick Cheney volunteered to form a search team to help her select a Vice President and he quickly selected himself for the job. "C & C! Clinton and Cheney! That is a winning team! Like Camilla and Charles."

"Or Joan Crawford and Jimmy Cagney."

With a wide grin, Hillary automatically began clapping her hands, pointing a finger over Cheney's shoulder, as though delighted to recognize an old pal in the empty room. Cheney automatically ducked, dropping to his knees, and a new presidential team was born.

Well, you know, it do take a village.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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