Bridgend Hangings Prompt Council To Erect Gallows

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 16 February 2008

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Cheese?

Council chiefs in Bridgend are to erect a gallows after the suicide rate in the Welsh town has recently soared to an all-time high, and has attracted a record number of tourists clamouring for a gawp.

Two more hangings this week have brought the total to 14, and quick-thinking entrepreneurial councillors, deciding the opportunity of making 'a quick buck' out of the visitors is too good to miss, have ordered the wooden construction to be built in a prominent spot in the market square.

Local people have admitted that Bridgend is a depressing place to live, and that they, themselves, have often thought of "ending it all", but the decision to assist suicidal cases is thought to be the first of its kind in Britain.

Local coroner Philip Walters last week denied that any of the suicides were linked, and also said that the Moon is made of cheese, adding :

"I am not senile."

A spokesman for Powys District Council said:

"As long as the Health & Safety aspects are observed, we see no problem, and are delighted to provide a much-needed service to the young people of the area."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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