Written by politicalpop

Tuesday, 22 January 2008

image for Russian-held Matisse in centre of row after Swansea mum claims tot could do better
All modern art is rubbish

A landmark exhibition of Russian-held art containing The Dance by Mattise, arguably the greatest painting ever, was at the centre of a growing international row today when a Swansea mum Charlene Church (47) claimed her two year old son Liam could do better.

The show at the Royal Academy of Arts appeared to be on hold after touchy Russian authorities TOOK OFFENCE to the claim.

"It all started with the Letvinov murder," says mum of four and international art expert, Church (42). "And now they've taken the hump over these dodgy pictures."

The 120 masterpieces from four top galleries and museums include rare works by Renoir, Cezanne, Van Gogh, Matisse and Picasso, all of which could have been painted by a British two year old, according to Church (52).

"When little Liam gets Marmite and jam on his hands, the results are a lot better than this Matisse fellow."

They were due to go on show here but the Russians are blocking export licences. Moscow fears some works may be seized by families claiming they are the long lost works of their two-year olds. Russia is accusing Britain of not guaranteeing that there would be no legal action.

But today the Department of Childhood said the Russians have no problem with Daily Wail readers constantly going on about how all modern art is rubbish.

A spokesman for the Royal Academy of Arts said: "Anyway, we've underwritten the collection against loss or damage to the tune of £2 because after all my two year old could make a better mess than that innit."

Your two year old must be able to do better. If so, please send your photos here.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Art, Wales, Mothers

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