TWO-FACED celebrities were coming out of the woodwork today, after the news that Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has died of syphilis.
Scores of shameless TV personalities were clambering over each other to sell their souls on ITV news and sing the praises of the leather-faced old demon.
Former funnyman turned piss-poor playwright, Ben Elton was quick to jump on the bandwagon.
"It's a great loss to the British public, especially after all the good work she did for the working classes," lied the speccy twat.
"Although most of my entire comedy routine during the 1980s was actually based on taking potshots at her, I always had the greatest of respect for our beloved former PM."
Within seconds of Elton's turncoat statement, TV chef Jamie Oliver stopped filming another fucking advert for Sainsbury's just long enough to tell the Spoof: "Yeah, she was a great lady.
"Now I imagine all those worms will be making their way through the walls of her coffin to feast on her remains - I'd recommend they eat her with a hint of garlic and lemon, bang in some Basil, and Bob's your uncle, Puckah!"
Former US President Ronald Reagan was unavailable for comment on the news that his former spunk-bin had died, but reportedly bombed a small country to console himself of the loss.
North of the border, however, the celebration is expected to continue well into next year, as previously reported in The Spoof.