In a dramatic turn of events, a team at Oxford University have proven that "Scotty" from "Star Trek" was in fact Scottish. A DNA sample obtained late at night from his grave was tested and was found to contain large amounts of "sporrinium".
Mr. Cavendish, Thistle professor for the advancement of Hibernium Science, University of Scotland, said that "sporrinium is extremely rare, only found in true Scottish people, such as Mel Gibson, or in thistles and bagpipes".
A plaque, unveiled today in Edinburgh, commemorates Scotty as "the final frontier, an amply rotund example of the finest Scottishness, full of humour and deprecation and with a little hint of bacon".
