Zachary Quinto to play Captain Kirk's Vulcan gay love interest in Star Trek prequel

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 18 October 2007

image for Zachary Quinto to play Captain Kirk's Vulcan gay love interest in Star Trek prequel
Central Casting has a bit of a challenge on its hands to transform Quinto

Hollywood - (Sci-Fi Mess): Tom Cruise-lookalike Zachary Quinto has been cast as a gay young Mr Spock in the Star Trek prequel film featuring Smokin' Aces actor Chris Pine as the firmly-in-the-closet Captain Kirk and Lord of The Rings star Karl Urban as a jealous-as-hell Dr McCoy.

The film, provisionally entitled Star Trek: Pon Farr from the Madding Crowd, tells an intimate yet predictably seedy story about Kirk's early days as a Starfleet Academy sword-of-honor officer who has to fight his inner feelings for the fiendishly sexy young Spock.

The two meet and bond after Spock agrees to perform the fabled Vulcan Mind Meld to help transfer Starfleet officer school exam answers after Kirk screws up his chances by going on a month-long Klingon Blood Wine bender with Academy postgraduate Dr McCoy.

Unfortunately the Mind Meld occurs just as Spock is begining to have his period, thus rendering himself and Kirk susceptible to nascent gay feelings the two have tried to suppress about each other.

Then a traditional Vulcan Pon Farr ritual ceremony cock-up rattles Spock's testosterone even further and he embarks on a wild and unbridled rampage of unfettered sexuality which "takes him and his future Star Ship captain boldly to where no Vulcan and Human have gone before."

Shaun of the Dead's Simon Pegg plays engineer Scotty who distils the Klingon Blood Wine that warps Kirk's Starfleet Academy chances.

Other notable roles including Mr Chekov and Mr Sulu as well as Nurse Chappel are to be announced.

Meanwhile, High School Musical starlet Vanessa Hudgens has been confirmed in a cameo-role as a time-warped fetus which eventually incarnates as part of the Borg Queen in a prequel follow-up planned for 2010.

Shooting starts next month and the movie will premiere in time for Xmas 2008.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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