Gordon Brown Failed to Suck His Own Member in 2007

Funny story written by politicalpop

Wednesday, 2 January 2008

image for Gordon Brown Failed to Suck His Own Member in 2007
Hoping the sun shines out of his backside in 08

Gordon Brown finished 2007 looking like a man who spent a decade trying to reach his own private parts to suck them, only to discover he had to suck someone else's, George Bush's.

He might have won the job he so desperately wanted, yet he may still be happy to see the back of 2007 with its blazing headlines still branding his mistakes into his grim furrowed brow: cancelling the autumn election while still ahead, lacking foresight to prevent the disastrous Northern Rock debacle, forcing budget cuts that led to the loss of millions of peoples' data, not noticing a dodgy donor in disguise, the little shop of political horrors crashed down round the PM's ears and the list is endless. But to coin an old New Labour triumphalist song, things can only get better for Mr Brown in 2008.

Smug little David Cameron will not be wishing Mr Brown a happy new year. No siree. He'll be hoping the headline writers continue to find plenty of gaffes, banana skins and downright ineptness to scorch Mr Brown's bright red backside with.

Because, oh yea! Hear ye! Hear ye! If you didn't already know, where have you been? The immensely popular young fresh-faced Etonian Tory leader's fortunes have been boosted a hundred fold during Mr Brown's disastrous year, and Mr Cameron with his able assistant former red top rag editor Rob McLynchem has made the most of his opportunities with the headlines ringing out: Brown Keeps Boob Boob Boobing Along, Brown Down and Out, Brown Beaten Black and Tory Blue, and Brown's-a-Dong-a-Ding Gone.

The real battlefield is of course in the capital where the battle between populist Ken Livingstone, for Labour, and self-publicist Boris Johnson, for the Tories, will provide huge headlines.

David Cameron will need to see great results to pump up Tory hopes that they can actually win the next general election despite being underdogs for so long notwithstanding the recent revival.

Not surprisingly, the embattled prime minister has an immense amount to lose. Commentators expect Labour to be the overall biggest losers, and that would be gloomy news for Mr Brown who hoped his government had no connection with the disastrous blood lust of the Blair years.

Massive losses and rumours he will lose a general election could lead to revolt within Labour as backbenchers see their political careers slipping away. There has even been talk of mutiny.

Can you recognize a media band wagon when you see one? Do you know anyone who reads this rubbish? It's more than likely that you do.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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