London Fog - It has been learned today that just moments ago the infamous Editor of De Must Be Spoofin' Dot Com, was taken into protective custody by Detectives from Scotland Yard. Mark Lowton was being forced to marry the sister of a famous spoof writer, known only as "Cal". According to sources close the Editor he was taken at gun point late Thursday evening after Cal had apparently discovered his sister was "with child".
Cal is from West Virginia and apparently takes the "Virgin" part of the state's name seriously. "My sister may not be a real "Virgin" no more, but by Golly nobody is gonna take my sister's love and not take care of the con-se-quen-sas!! I'm madder than a buzzard on a shit wagon!"
Mark Lowton is now in protective custody and has issued the following statement to public, writers and the many staff at The Spoof, "Friends, I made the mistake of trifling with someone's harry back and now I'm paying the price. I hope you will understand that I need to lay low for a while and that I am paying for Cal's sister to have a safe and legal abortion. I look forward to being able to walk in the sun again some day, until that day, "Vayos Con Dios."