The world wide banning of all Alan's from public buildings will come into force during the new year, said a politician with ambitions to being the king ruler of the world.
Mr Alan Allen, of the preserving Alan Society in Basildon said: 'This is political correctness gone mad. It is alright for the Zebedes, and Zachariahs, but do all the country's Alans really want to go the same was as the country's Abigails. Nothing much was said when that happened, because there are more Alans in the country, but what about all of the Brians, Beths, and Chriss, soon to be kept in their own homes for all eternity. Where will the money for the enhanced security come from, then, eh?'
We pointed out to him that it was only a ban an people called Alan. His son, Alan Alan Alan Allen II has long since emigrated to Australia, where no such ban exists. It does not exist in this country either, but we made it up to give Mr Allen a society to form.
