Fuzz Paint Foils Speed Traps!

Funny story written by Mike Aldred

Saturday, 17 November 2007

image for Fuzz Paint Foils Speed Traps!
Stationary lorry after application of 'Fuzz' paint

The viability of speed cameras is likely to be put in jeopardy following the development of a revolutionary 'fuzz' paint. The paint, which is in the form of a clear lacquer, gives any vehicle a fuzzy, blurred appearance, thus avoiding positive identification by a speed camera.

The paint is now available through a number of foreign internet sites. The cost to paint an average family saloon is in the region of £300.

The Department of Transport has declared the paint illegal. A spokesman said, 'With the Revenue & Customs Department in a shambles, we have to get money to the Exchequer somehow, so any speeding motorist using this product is guilty of a criminal offence. If use of this paint becomes widespread, then a rise in VAT may be inevitable.

Motoring organisations have mixed opinions about the paint. An AA spokesman said, 'We would not recommend any of our members using this product.' A spokesman for the Ferrari Owners Club said, 'The choice is, of course, down to the individual. I have already used the product successfully on my 308 - granted, in may diminish the classic appearance of the car, but at last I can drive it as it was meant to be driven.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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