Ian Huntley Prevented From Killing Himself By Authorities Yet Again

Written by Mister Meaner

Saturday, 29 September 2007

image for Ian Huntley Prevented From Killing Himself By Authorities Yet Again
Go on...let them do it!

Police have launched an investigation into why murderer Ian Huntley, the man serving a life sentence for the killings of Jessica Chapman and Holly Wells, both 10, hasn't been able to kill himself with drugs.

Huntley, housed in HMP Wakefield, has tried to commit suicide by overdosing on drugs THREE TIMES so far, but on each occasion was unsuccessful, giving rise to allegations that the authorities are somehow interfering with the strength of the drugs that he has been allowed to administer.

A Prison Service spokesman said that Huntley was being looked after well in jail, and that the authorities were not responsible for monitoring suicide attempts, no matter how despicable the inmates involved.

Huntley, an ex-school caretaker, was taken to Pinderfields Hospital on Friday after quoffing insufficient drugs to kill himself outright for the third occasion since his incarceration for the dreadful killings of the girls in Soham in 2002.

A police spokesman said:

"For Christ's sake! Can't they do anything properly up there? Just put all the drugs at their disposal in a syringe, and pump them into his arm! Then sing Hallelujah! Jeeezus!"

A supporter of the Prisons Handbook, told the Press:

"This is a dreadful story for the Prison Service and a huge embarrassment, particularly as Huntley wants to die. Some heads need to be banged together."

Huntley first tried to end his own life in 2003, and then again in 2006.

Brian Catnap, general secretary of the Prison Officers Association, admitted:

"We're not very good at this. We might actually have to let one of the desperate crims queueing up to end this sad fuck's life, actually do it."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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