Portugese Police Claim British Police Hampered McCann Case

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Monday, 17 September 2007


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We love Portugese Police, they make us look good!

In a dramatic new twist, Portuguese police today claimed that British Police have hampered their most determined efforts in the case of tragic missing Madeleine McCann.

An unnamed Portuguese police officer has claimed that a lawyer flown in by British police asked to help on the case prevented him from beating a confession out of Kate McCann after she was asked to attend a local Portuguese police station last week. "Her confession would be on the table by now if I had been allowed to use our normal methods," he claimed, cracking his knuckles. "We have used this method of interrogation successfully on several mothers,"he added.

The officer claims he asked his superior for a "pop" at Kate but was blocked by the lawyer in his absence after he nipped out to the local paper shop to buy some matches to use in the interrogation. "The British lawyer didn't understand our methods at all," he commented.

It is understood that Kate McCann will be requested to undergo "trial by water" on her return to Prada Del Luiz, which will involve her being drowned. Portuguese officers believe that an innocent woman floats and a guilty woman sinks.

"THEN and only then we shall know the full truth!" stated the officer.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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