London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown has offered all pregnant women £120 "so they can have a right old laugh" about the handsome British benefits system.
"Actually, Gorgon's offering ALL UK women £120 - just to get preggers, you know!" a Whitehall source beamed today.
"We think the pregnant ones will naturally jump at the hand-out and spend it on wholesome foods like spinach and carrots, maybe even folic-acid. Who knows.
"Media reports that all the dosh will be squandered on crack cocaine, lager bingeing and botox implants are obviously a wild exaggeration," an NHS Direct spokesman added today.
"Can't think how anybody could be so cynical to even suggest such an idea."