"I am just soooo still a Socialist" claims Cherie B

Written by Kent Pete

Saturday, 4 August 2007

image for "I am just soooo still a Socialist" claims Cherie B
Cherie last night, before the bollinger kicked in.

Stalinist Scouse Actor Tony Booth has upset his social climbing daughter by stating that, "She is no longer a Socialist as far as I can see. How anyone can stay so silent while her husband spreads British Imperialism throughout the world is beyond me. I never brought her up that way. By the age of eight Cherie could recite "Das Kapital" word for word. Let's face it, she's more likely to quote Friedman now."

However a furious Mrs Blair has hit back. In an interview with our political correspondent Peter Musgrove to be serialized in tomorrow's Sunday Times, she claims that, "Just because most of my friends and associates tend to come from Public School backgrounds father seems to think that I have forgotten my roots. Does the fact that I prefer to spend the evening with Charles Saatchi and Nigella Lawson rather than Jade and Jack Goody make me a Conservative? I'm sorry but I'd rather talk about Art and French Cuisine rather than [Cherie then did that annoying thing wealthy middle class conservatives do with their fingers]. How long ago it was since my last shit?"

The mad faced ex first lady continued, "It's not their fault but if we are honest the Comprehensive System definitely churns out nothing but oxygen thieves. If I see another sovereign ring on another middle finger I swear to the Catholic Lord above I'll do something that I shall regret forever. I loved what Marx said about the proletariat, but he never had to live amongst them did he. Not like I had to in Islington!"

Our reporter, blissfully unaware in his Fred Perry T-shirt and gold identity bracelet, asked Cherie if she still considered herself a socialist.

"I have always and will always vote Labour. Of course I'm a Socialist. "

Unfortunately at this point Mrs Blair looked down and saw our reporter's white socks and the interview was abruptly terminated.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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