A consortium of scientists today published a report stating that politicians were reponsible for most global warming. The report, endorsed by such prominent academics as UN spokesperson Geri Halliwell, states that the sun's influence is clearly dwarfed by Parliamentary hot air emissions.
A spokesman for the consortium stated that samples of ice found in a secret FBI bunker clearly showed that heat from electric toothbrushes and hot air from various Parliaments around the world was responsible for most of the polar ice melting of the last century.
"If politicians would shut up for 60 minutes a week, the carbon savings and heat reductions would be enormous," he said, against a backdrop of melting icebergs. "Although electric toothbrushes do produce some heat, politicians are by far more expensive in environmental terms," he added.
The consortium called for a 20 minute reduction in speeches likely to last over 45 minutes, and Prime Minister's Questions to be moved to the first friday in each month, when most MPs take a day off.
"Conference season sees the most hot air releases, compared to the rest of the year, and MPs should consider cancelling the fringe meetings and some aspects of voting," the spokeman said. "It's for the good of the planet."
Godi'm Broon, Britian's newest Prime Minister, stated although he'd only been in the job a week now, this was something that the Government should consider.
"With all the measures that we are currently taking, such as taxing cars and car added tax, taxing anything and putting taxes up, I think taxing MPs who speak for long periods would be a good idea. There would be exemptions, of course, but we'd have to tax them, too."
Former Prime Minister Tony Bleeeeagh! wasn't available for comment.
