Written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 13 June 2007


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image for Senior sex flasher cleared of judge allegations
Justice has been served for Judge Sir Stephen Richards

London - (Ass Mess): One of the UK's most senior sex flashers has been cleared of exposing himself as an Appeal Court Judge to a woman on a packed commmuter train.

Sir Stephen Richards of Wimbledon, London SW17, had spent two days in the dock at City of Westminster magistrates court after a woman identified him at a police felons' parade as being the man who twice exposed himself as a major judicial force while travelling on Network Southeast on 16th and 24th October 2006.

In the end the magistrate believed Richards, 56, despite prosecution evidence that the witness had been highly credible, had correctly identified the accused in a parade, and had even taken photographs of him on her mobile phoone which were produced in court during the hearing.

In the end Senior District Judge Timothy Workman said the case came down to Richards's word against a woman's.

"And all the other evidence produced against the accused is purely circumstantial. Including the photographs."

Judge Workman ruled that Richards's defence "that he was the victim of mistaken identity" must be true because that's all that would get him off the serious charges.

And while Judge Workman said the woman witness had given "clear, dignified and truthful evidence" he did not want to set a precedent in backing her judgement when the alternative was so much more attractive.

After the not guilty verdict Richards told reporters:
"During this whole ghastly business, I have put my truss in the legal process and the shyster lawyers who I paid handsomely to get me off.

"I'm delighted to say that the ruse paid off and I have got off scot-free."

A British Transport Police source said they were very sorry they couldn't find any CCTV fottage to support the prosecution case but a mysterious case of inexplicable arson on both 16th and 24th October 2006 had accidentally destroyed all possible evidence.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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