Written by Felix Minderbinder

Wednesday, 13 June 2007

image for Judge Suing Dry Cleaner for $54 Million Backs Iran War
The judge cracks up

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - The judge suing his dry cleaners for $54 million had to leave the courtroom in restraints and with tears running down his face on Tuesday after fondly recalling his lost pair of trousers and stating that he backed war against Iran.

"I'm crazy and I want a nuclear attack on Iran just like that fruitcake Senator Joe Lieberman," said administrative law judge Roy L. Pearson. "Oh, I miss my trousers terribly, they were like family to me…they were actually worth more than $54 million."

Attorneys defending the drycleaner called Pearson "a Zionist lunatic like Lieberman" and a "trouser fetishist."

Pearson had originally sued Custom Cleaners for about $65 million under the District of Columbia consumer protection act.

He alleges that Jin Chung, Soo Chung and Ki Chung, owners of the family business, committed fraud with their signs that claimed "Satisfaction Guaranteed" and "Same Day Service."

An attorney for the Chungs described Pearson as a bitter freak in the pay of Zionist land thieves with financial troubles stemming from a recent divorce who is taking out his anger on a hardworking family.

Pearson called himself as a witness to indicate his problems began in May 2005 when he brought in a number of suits for alterations. A pair of pants went missing and he said that Soo Chung tried to give him a different pair of pants of a different color.

As Pearson described that those weren't the pants for the suit, he choked up and left the courtroom crying after asking D.C. Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff for an intermission.

"Bomb Iran! Bomb the hell out of it!" Pearson shrieked as he was led away in a straight jacket by doctors from a local psychiatric clinic. "I want Israel to keep stealing Palestinian land like the criminals they are! Iran is not actually creating an atomic bomb…it is just enriching uranium to fuel its reactors!"

The defense attorney indicated that the cleaners had made three settlement offers to Pearson, but Pearson was not satisfied and increased his demands into the millions. Pearson finally began threatening to "call in a First Strike" against the cleaners before launching his lawsuit.

AIPAC, Lieberman, the Ambassador for Israel and Dick Cheney are all backing the insane judge in his case, which has been postponed until Pearson undergoes a series of anti-psychotic treatments including medications and ECT administered by Dr. Felix Minderbinder of the Mayo Clinic(no relation to the author of this news story).

--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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