Reaches Nirvana

Funny story written by Cal Jennings

Tuesday, 12 June 2007


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CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Dublin - The editor, Mark Lowton, and all the writers at have achieved a state of Nirvana thanks to a poster named Dattaswami. At first all the writers resisted and called on Mark Lowton to remove the poster and his spam-like posts, but then they suddenly achieved total enlightenment and were, themselves, transformed.

All the writers now worship Buddha and sing songs of enlightenment and spiritual well-being, clanging their cymbals, ringing their bells, playing their Damaru and Kapali drums, and playing their seashell trumpets. The editor never gets any work done anymore, but he has ascended to such a high plateau that he doesn't care anymore.

The writers and editor have all become of one mind and no longer even need to use messages to communicate. They know each other's thoughts almost before the other thinks them. Never is an angry thought nor sound of protest heard anymore. The 21 points of Buddhism have been summed up into one belief in the one Life, compassion, love, hope and the inner potential of every human being. Even the Bush fearing Christian on the staff have converted and reached the state of Nirvana.

"The Bible does say, 'the greatest of these is love,' but I thought they were talking about sex," said writer Cal Jennings. "I'm giving up sex and becoming a vegan."

Even writer Gnarly Eric put down his hammer of Thor and converted to Buddhism. The surprising thing was, he was the first of the group to reach the state of Nirvana.

This belief fit the writers well since they were already having to eat grass because of the low wages for writing for Now none of them mind not getting paid, and Mark Lowton doesn't even mind if he ever gets back to rewinding videos at the video store. is now self-sustaining, self-enlightening, and spreading peace world-wide.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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