Blair backs Cameron as next Labour Leader

Funny story written by davidjreilly

Wednesday, 9 May 2007

image for Blair backs Cameron as next Labour Leader

Since announcing that he intended to step down during this parliamentary term, Tony Blair has been umming and aahhing more than a bi-curious teenage hermaphrodite about who he should throw his political weight and tarnished reputation behind in the race to become his successor.

Despite the widely known differences between himself and long-time lackey Gordon Brown, it was always thought among political commentators that these would be set aside, and that Blair would endorse the Chancellor for the Labour party leadership, especially given the a number of Blairites that have declined the invitation to stand in the Labour leadership race. But such blatant rumour mongering was quashed today as a statement issued from number 10 declared that the Prime Minister will be stepping down from Sunday, and will be backing David Cameron to be the next Labour leader.

At a hastily arranged press conference this afternoon, Tony Blair defended his shock decision, 'I did some soul searching over Parliament's Easter break and the local elections; and, it became clear to me, there was only one man in British politics who shares my vision and aspirations for the country. David is really the only man who can take over from me.'

The two have bickered like young siblings over the despatch boxes in recent months, politically differing over little more than the right brand of champagne for receptions, and the palest shade of grey. But the scale of their admiration for one another was clear, though never certain, and it appears these star-crossed lovers could no longer bare the tracing paper thin divide between them. When asked for comment, David Cameron produced a wry smile and a glazed expression before praising the outgoing PM. 'Well it's obvious I've always admired him,' he gushed, 'when I was a small boy I used to sit opposite the mirror, slick my hair back and recite word for word his tribute to Diana.'

It still remains unclear whether Cameron will take up the offer to defect, or whether Blair is trying to butter up the opposition for the final jump to the right, which has been expected for years. Both parties in line with policy declined to comment in any detail, but did hint that the particulars would be resolved over a candlelit dinner with Cliff Richard sometime next week. And though no comment has been forthcoming from Gordon Brown yet, a polish cleaner in the treasury reported hearing manic laughter and the chinking of scotch glasses in the vicinity of the vault earlier today.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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