Written by G Varnam

Tuesday, 24 April 2007

image for Hogwarts Used J.K. Rowling as Recruiting Agent
You want to be with Harry?

J K Rowling has finely came out and admitted that she is actually working with the Wizarding world. When book seven is shipped a transport and de-aging device will be sent with each book. If the reader is eleven years old and above, he or she will be transported to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! The devices will currently only be shipped to English speaking countries: United Kingdom, United States, Canada, (except Quebec) and Australia.

Only books sent mail-order will come with these devices; book store outlets are not including them. There will only be 100 openings in Harry's year at Hogwarts and there is a two month time limit. In addition to the Hogswarts scholarship, lucky readers will be provided good housing in Hogsmeade during summer. It is reported that future opportunities will be forthcoming for kids who are too young to go now.

This author has upset many born-again Christians, many of whom believe that Hogwarts is run by the Antichrist himself. According to the lobby; "They will all be encouraged to do homosexual acts with each other as well of doing magical arts. That will earn them a one way ticket to the Lake of Fire and Sulfur!"

A Hogwarts spokesperson said, "We need to recruit new wizards and witches to increase to population of these unique people. Those who love Harry Potter have magical properties and those who hate Harry Potter are Muggles and need not to apply to Hogwarts. Muggles will not be able to activate these devices. If you are nuts...about Harry Potter...this device will take you into our world."

It does come with a big warning; once used, there is no going back. You are committed to go seven years at Hogwarts. Also if you are an adult and use this device, you will become 11 years old again and it isn't reversible.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Harry Potter

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