Harry Potter to be Killed off in Book Seven

Funny story written by G Varnam

Monday, 16 April 2007

image for Harry Potter to be Killed off in Book Seven
Harry, Hermione, and Ron

The release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is on July 21, 2007. An employee from the book's publishers has leaked to the press that the book will end in a big disaster. The two characters the J. K Rowling wants to kill off are Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. Also most of the minor characters are killed off as well.

There will be a major attack at Hogwarts by Lord Voldemort towards the end of the book. Professor McGonagall will be the new Head Mistress of Hogwarts. Most of the Slytherin Children left the school before the attack.

The huge attack starts by setting huge fires and magical explosives to Hogsmeade. This alerts the school. Harry, Ron, and Hermione, along with Ginny, Luna, and Neville all got outside of the school.

The following is some of the leaked extract:

They all went towards the Quidditch Pitch. As they were heading there, Hogwarts School exploded and was completely wipe out. The entire school was completely flattened.

Ginny suddenly started to attack Harry. Ron noticed that Ginny was under the Imperial Spell. Ron fired back and Ginny was out cold. Suddenly the entire company was attack. Ginny was hit by the killing curse. She was dead. Neville and Luna were both hit with the killing curse and die. Harry, Ron, and Hermione all made it to the Quidditch Pitch.

Suddenly Lord Voldemort showed up. He kills Ron. Another death eater hits Hermione with a freezing spell. Hermione couldn't move. Lord Voldemort looked at Harry and said, "Harry you escape from me two years ago. Now there is no place for you to hide! I am going to kill you! I destroyed all who opposed me! There isn't anyone that can save you now!

The dual began as they left off. Harry fought bravely. But Lord Voldemort uses the killing curse and Harry Potter flew backwards and landed dead. Lord Voldemort gives out his evil laugh and fires the skull and snake sign. He set the Quidditch Pitch on fire. Hermione come too after the spell wore off and took Harry and apperated to the Burrow. She found that it was also destroyed as well. She apperated several more times to get Ron and Ginny. Hermione bury the entire Weasley family, Harry Potter and Fleur Delacour. Hermione gave up magic after she found out that the Ministry for Magic and Diagon Ally were both destroyed. There was nothing left to do. Hermione went to university to become a lawyer. She went back and built a new house over were the Burrow was.

Every day she looks over the grave of Harry Potter and she remember him as the boy with the scar.

J. K. Rowling wanted to destroy her creation so that no one can write anything about Hogwarts again. However, no one can say that one can write a prequel. Oh Warner has bought that out and no one can use the name of Hogwarts again! So here is the end of a story with truly sad ending!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more