Written by queen mudder

Sunday, 22 April 2007

image for New post-Diana era hagiography brands Blair "spiteful, manipulative, media-savvy neurotic"
Brown's book lays bare the Blair charisma

New York - (Rotters): A new post-Princess Diana era book written by New York fifth columnist Tina Brown slates UK Prime Mobster Tony Blair as a "spiteful, manipulative, media-savvy neurotic praying with the House of Windsor and then a series of other rich people, shocked and awed at their status and wealth."

However other chapters are far less flattering.

The hagiography describes how Blair surrounded himself with an assortment of sycophantic gurus, "tried to contact the dead Earl Mountbatten though a ouija board after paying witless Irish mercenaries to blow him up on his yacht the Herald of Free Enterprise" and arselicked his way into the hearts of the US Republican Party by destroying Ronald Reagan's UK-archived sex crime intelligence files.

The cover story "The louse that whored" also portrays Blair's wife Cherry Bush QC as a "restless and demanding shopaholic who was obsessed with her public image, who spent hours with her press clippings, and regularly assuaged her loneliness by impromptu S&M sex sessions with cash-for-peerages shyster Sir Christopher 'Bung' Evans."

The book is to be serialised in the US next month and will lay bare the grim details of how Blair ruthlessly pursued George W Bush because of his own mercenary position.

Despite Foreign Office advice that tried to talk him out of sucking up to the emerging Rovian fantasy of 1999, Blair was incapable of listening and seemed 'like a many hypnotised' by the urgency of his quest.

In London the trenchant account is being defended vigorously by Gordon Brown's entourage who have described it as "authoritative, meticulously researched and dispensing with the romantic myth that a ruinously self-absorbed and paranoid Blair had turned his life around."

Other lifelong Blair associates suggest that far from being a naive victim damaged by too much self-belief as he has often been portrayed Blair is a "skilled and sometimes nasty schemer" and had been since spawned by his Hellfire Club birth father aka Prince Philip and the Vatican hooker half-sister of Elizabeth Vagina.

The book is published on May 31st price $25.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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