"Terrorist Bomber Saved Lives" - Claim

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 18 April 2007

image for "Terrorist Bomber Saved Lives" - Claim
A fireman puts out the sideboard

A man accused of plotting to kill hundreds of innocent people by "bombing them to smithereens", should be nominated for a bravery award, says his solicitor, after it was claimed that he actually 'saved' a tower block full of Council tenants and other dossers.

Manfo Asiedu, a 34-year-old terrorist, appeared before Woolwich Cangeroo Court charged with stealing an old sideboard from a crackhouse in the Never Worked, Never Will tower block housing estate in South London in July 2005.

The sideboard in question, was packed with fireworks for a planned wedding between Chav lovebirds Deano and Chanteellle later that month.

According to Asiedu's solicitor, Stephen Talkshite QC:

"The piece of furniture could have blown those Chavs to the moon", and Mr Asiedu, in removing it to a safe place, he said, had been their saviour.

"He acted selflessly, and without concern for his own safety or well-being. Such valour and determination deserves recognition."

Judge Donald Dredd QC directed the jury of nine idiots and three gullibles to disregard this nonsense, and to find the defendent "truly guilty" so that he could "bring down the full force of the Law upon Mr Asiedu's little brown head".

They duly obliged, and Asiedu was sentenced to 6 months suspended for 2 years in respect of the sideboard, and given 80 hours Community Service for his failed gunpowder plot.

As he was led away, Mr Asiedu shouted some gibberish in a foreign language.

"We will appeal" said Talkshite.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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