Written by jailhouselawyer

Saturday, 10 March 2007

A top judge and a lawyer have become involved in a legal punch up, and as they stood toe to toe, the lawyer stood on the judge's toes. In the blue corner, weighing in is Lord Phillips, the Lord Chief Justice, and in the new red corner, weighing in is Charles Falconer (a mere lawyer), the Lord Chancellor.

According to the Law Reports, Falconer threw the first punch after being warned by Phillips not to mess about in his judicial affairs. Phillips became upset because he believed that Falconer had struck a blow low down, when he feels that Falconer should belt up. Falconer had argued that geriatric retired judges should be quarantined like rabid dogs for up to 5 years. Phillips retaliated that there are already too many geriatric prisoners in the penal system, and adding more to an already overcrowded system is simply barbaric. The ratio of blows Phillips dealt Falconer left him reeling against the robes.

Lord Justice Phillips told a court reporter after the fight that he was ecstatic, "my opponent has previous form and is a repeat offender. It was a triumph for justice, and it is only right that he should leave my jurisdiction". Lord Falconer was unavailable for comment because his wig was receiving medical attention from the nit nurse.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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