Famed Mithering on the Trent boffin Simon Fotherington still hasn't finished something, even though he has been doing it for years.
'Oh,' said the morose 47-year-old. 'There are lots of things I haven't finished. Raising my children, the Kama Sutra, shaving, the ironing, mowing the lawn, the epoch-changing novel I started in 1987, the list is almost endless. That is another thing I haven't finished, the list of things I haven't finished, and you would have thought that, during the lockdown, I would have got those things finished. I still have to start the painting, or the grouting, and the newspapers aren't going to sort themselves out, are they? Petunia, can you stop that infernal violin playing? You are giving me a headache!'