With Coronavirus spreading across the country, new couple, Gary Wilmot-Symthe and Tessa Brassingthwaite, are really struggling.
"In the old days," said Wilmot-Smythe, "a young chap could take a lady he liked to any number of places, the theatre, the cinema, and now we can't do that, can we?'
Tessa continued: 'We can't even go to the pub, and get wasted. I need to see what Gary's tolerance for alcohol, and my irritating laugh, is'.
'We can't even touch,' complained Gary, 'and touching elbows isn't romantic at all. Holding hands is a sign that you love someone. Touching elbows just looks mad, and who wants to make that type of impression?'