Edgar, a somewhat impulsive dragon, who burnt down the village Christmas tree twenty years ago, has learnt that his youthful indiscretion and lack of control has formed the basis for this year's John Lewis advert.
'Yes, it was all a bit embarrassing, and I would rather forget it,' said Edgar, now sporting a far more fearsome face than the actor playing him in the advert has. 'Now I have much more control over my fire-making abilities. If I wanted to turn you to ash, I could, but I choose not to. For me, it is the equivalent of you being reminded of an unflattering haircut, an unsuitable partner, or a bad jumper. Still, as long as it helps to sell some future land-fill for John Lewis, who am I to complain?'
Edgar has sent a letter to John Lewis's solicitors. We pity the fool.