Glass-eyed vagrant and sometimes 'Spoof' hack, Duff, issued a very public denial against allegations of 'vagina peppering' yesterday.
He is quoted as saying, "God knows I've tried, to keep fannies out of my articles. It's somewhere I just don't want to go."
However, a little digging by this reporter has revealed that Mr Duff penned an article entitled, 'The Queen was nearly toppled by Fanny Craddock shock', in which the word fanny was gratuatously overused.
There have also been whispers that some writers are being paid to insert the 'v' word into their stories in order to increase circulation of 'The Spoof'. If these allegations prove correct, then the 'vagina peppering' scandal could go all the way to the top and spell the end for the reclusive Lowton brothers , who own the popular paper.
Brothers Paul and Mark, who are rarely seen in public, have not yet commented on the 'cash for vaginas' furore but with speculation and police interest increasing, they will soon have to issue a statement.
The writer at the centre of the storm, Duff, first came to public prominence after being arrested in a layby with an underage squirrel. Although he was later cleared of the 'squirrel bothering' charges, due to a lack of evidence, rumours have persisted about late night trips to Wimbledon Common to 'gather nuts'
* This story has a 'Doris' rating of 3 *
