Timmy Mallet still not considered to be Prime Minister material

Written by Ben Macnair

Monday, 27 May 2019

image for Timmy Mallet still not considered to be Prime Minister material
Oh my god, those small children, and that big mallet, I cannot watch the horror.

There was consternation across the United Kingdom, as for yet another time, Timmy Mallett, the irritating 1980s children's entertainer was still not considered for the top job.

This is a job that has gone to Margaret Thatcher, John Major, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, Nick Clegg, (no sorry, David Cameron) and Theresa May, so it is not as if the standard has ever really been that high.

Timmy Mallett, real name Thomas Hammer, said 'Ever since the days of the Wide Awake Club with Tommy watshisface, and Michaela Strachan, we had a pact that at least one of us would have some time in number 10. Oh well, I suppose another few years of waiting won't do me any harm, will it?'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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