London - (Ass Mess): Thousands of disgruntled women queued outside Burberry's flagship store in Puddling Club Lane today demanding immediate cash refunds for the Xmas gifts that every sane British female of taste and discernment abhors: the chav fav Burberry tartan plaid raincoat with matching scarf, hat, gloves, bag, umbrella and optional his/her contraceptive device from the company's timeless Washed-out Gullible Old Slapper collection Autumn/Winter 2006.
And this year news that the fashion (sic) retailer had rewarded thousands of its Welsh sweat shop workers with a paltry Xmas bonus in the form of a £30 voucher exchangeable at any of their outlets merely confirmed women's suspicions that the clothing manufacturer's salad days are over and their future lies in a recycling bin headed for oblivion.
A company spokesman expressed shock and bewilderment at the hostile reaction from both employees and customers, claiming that the familiar tartan range had been a best seller. But as the news cameras rolled to interview him on 'le dernier cri' of the company's sales figures, a fire broke out in the street outside the company head office as someone set a Burberry-clad Santa Claus alight with a petrol-filled tartan condom that had been placed on the festive mannequin's person.
A fire brigade spokesman afterwards agreed the score was a decent 2-0 to the Boxing Day protesters.
