Thursday, 27 September 2018

image for Man aims to reach South Pole
Geoff Shackles imagining himself reaching the south pole

Geoffcock Shackles, 43, of Norwich, is planning to be the first man to reach the South Pole solo, sustained only by biscuits.

At McMurdo station, Shackles was ready to make the 2000km voyage to the South pole and back on foot, supplied only with his own sledge of biscuits.

"They really are the dream biscuit. They can sustain you for miles. I'm not going to do an Amundsen and eat my dogs. I'm going there on biscuits."

The voyage, sponsored by McVittles, is unique, although many do not expect the mad explorer to return.

"He's fricking bonkers," said Antarctic expert John Snow. "He hasnae got a support team, he's no thought this through."

Nevertheless, Shackles proudly showed his sledge full of biscuits to the waiting cameramen and revealed more details about his plan.

"Water is of course vital, but I'm not worried about carrying any of that," he said. "The whole continent is covered in snow, so I'm just going to eat that. It'll help the biscuits go down."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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