Elon Musk Thinks You're A Paedophile, Probably

Funny story written by Talking Tic-Tacs

Wednesday, 5 September 2018

image for Elon Musk Thinks You're A Paedophile, Probably
Musk's little red Corvette, Prince, which looks a lot like a Chevrolet now, "has pedo number 1 in it."

Tesla, Spacex, Neuralink and Paypal founder, architect, chief executive, cowboy executive, indian executive, producer, director, judge, jury and executioner Elon Musk has gone back on the offensive against a man whom he believes, for a reason he has not disclosed because their isn't one, is a paedophile.

The man in question, diver Vernon Unsworth, chilled Musk to the bone with his sinister actions of rescuing stranded children from a cave and then, horrifically, reuniting them with their loved ones.

His sordid exploits have also extended to being in a monogamous relationship with a woman for the past seven years. Much to Musk's disgust who believes it's "beyond the pale."

He went on, "traditional, heterosexual relationships nowadays are clearly just a cover for perverts. This is Post-modernism! Unless you're a polyamorous, gender fluid punk with multi-coloured hair, piercings on your genitalia and have an avid interest in space and aliens then I am onto you, you pedos!"

Musk, who has modest ambitions of relocating the population of Earth to another planet within the infinite universe for human habitation, is said to be missing his little red Corvette, which is currently floating around that very same universe. And is called Prince.

The disgust from Musk must mean he doesn't trust or lust easily but as he came out of the toilet, which he had just flushed, he continued his diatribe against Unsworth, "Hero's are despicable especially heros who become heros at the expense of me being the hero. He's an unassuming hero apparently but I AM assuming so i've got that over him, right? No? You...you aren't agreeing with me...you're a PEDO!! It makes sense now, there's no tangible evidence to say otherwise."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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