Written by Gringo Lobos

Sunday, 3 September 2017

image for Hundreds die while waiting for Kayne West Popup store to open
Many die while waiting for a trendy pair of jeans

Hundreds of teenagers have perished overnight while camped out in the snow waiting for Kayne West Popup store to open.

As the extent of the tragedy unfolded this morning it appears that hundreds of young impressionable trendy schoolies are frozen to death whilst camped in the queue, leaving many asking how could such a preventable tragedy occur.

Kayne West has responded to the parents of the deceased kiddies by offering a 10% discount to the other members of the family, but only if they get the frozen bodies off the footpath quickly. "Whilst we are happy to offer the very generous 10% discount, I remind parents they are costing me sales and money, so please move them off the footpath ASAP", his marketing manager urged.

It seems as though some of the trendies in line had frostbite and ambulance services are advising them to warm up or loose a foot or two. This intrepid reporter braved the blizzard conditions to find out why these young trendies were risking life and limb for a pair of over-priced chinese jeans.

Some said,"we want to be the trendiest in our class at school". While others had no idea, they were there because everyone else was, "wasn't that what you are supposed to do", they replied with a query in their voice.

A near riot broke out when it looked like some queue jumpers had received a commercial advantage. They walked past in their new KW trendy jeans even though they clearly hadn't been in the queue. Police immediately arrested them, but it later turned out they had only just bought them from the $2 chinese import shop round the corner.

When KW Pop-Up Trendy Store Manager was asked about warranty with purchases he advised the store would be closing in several hours and everyone would have to wait until it 'popped-up again'. When pushed as to when that may be they replied "it is our policy to not discuss policy or the details of any commercial arrangement that may or may not be ongoing at this time, we will not expose any current negotiations as when the public find out, terrorists everywhere win and innocent lives are put at risk.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Kanye West

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