Free Cosmetic Surgery for Ugly Kids

Funny story written by Tegid Gillott-Jones

Thursday, 14 December 2006

image for Free Cosmetic Surgery for Ugly Kids
Lip gloss won't help my dear; you need surgery

Thousands of unpleasant looking children could be offered life changing cosmetic surgery if radical new Government health initiatives get the green light.

The Rt Hon Patricia Hewitt Secretary of State for Heath has released plans for a range of surgical and non surgical treatments to be offered by the NHS. These could include Liposuction, ear and nose reshaping and glycolic peels.

Dr Thomas Stockton, chairman of the National Ugly Child Forum (NUCF), has played a leading role in persuading the Governments health watchdog that radical solutions are now needed. In a statement Dr Stockton said "children are at high risk of isolation and intimidation from their more attractive peers. We at the NUCF believe action must be taken to eliminate all cases of Ugly Child Syndrome (UCS) from the United Kingdom by 2025."

Many NHS trusts, already struggling with serious financial problems believe that the use of NHS funds to provide treatment for UCS is a misguided allocation of resources.

In response a Government spokesperson from the Department of Heath said "It is unwise to try and put a price on a child's beauty, if necessary we will provide additional funding to enable us to abolish child ugliness forever."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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