Springfield resident and father of three, Homer J Simpson, has been questioned by Scotland Yard officers investigating the death of Alexander Litvinenko,after traces of radiation were found at his home.
Mr Simpson, who claims that the radiation residue is due to a small misunderstanding of the rules to a drinking game during the Springfield nuclear power plant Christmas party, was interrogated yesterday. Police have reason to believe that Mr Simpson met the ex-KGB agent in November to discuss documents relating to Springfield mayor, Joe Quimby. The documents, procurred by an unnamed elderly businessman, reportedly reference Quimby as the "KGB's man in Springfield" during the cold war period. The claim has been strongly refuted by "Diamond Joe" Quimby, who yesterday commented "These scurrilous rumours have their basis in political jealousy. That, or it's the guy whose wife I did last Thursday. Whoops."
Mr Simpson has no previous history in international espionage but is no stranger to the law. He has twice been investigated by the police: Once when he inadvertently sparked a coup d'ètat in Borneo, and secondly when he briefly headed the FBI's most wanted list, seemingly because of a prank call made by his 10-year old son, Bart.
The reactions of Simpson's family have ranged from an impassioned plea for justice from his wife and daughter to an impromptu auction organised by Bart to sell off incriminating items belonging to his father. These included a DVD set of James Bond films, a false moustache and a set of pre-cold war soviet titty mags.
Mr Simpson, has yet to release a statement, and has still not engaged an attorney, having chosen to use his allotted phone call from Springfield Police headquarters to call Pizza Hut instead.
