Singer Barney Involved In Crazy Showbiz Mix-up

Funny story written by Duff

Tuesday, 12 December 2006

image for Singer Barney Involved In Crazy Showbiz Mix-up
Barney's hooter is very similar to Barry's

Barney Manilow was today embroiled in a row that may well see his stock drop a point or two in the eyes of the public, reports our showbiz correspondent, Oscar Bafta.

Barney, the voice behind such hits as Bandy, Can't Smell without you and countless others got involved in a dispute with a waiter in London's trendy Ivy watering hole.

The waiter takes up the tale:

"He's come in 'ere like 'the big I am' and all that and ordered scampi in the basket. After he'd eaten it all he's the cheek to complain about it and says he wants it taken off his bill!

I suggested he took his complaint up with the management and that's when it all went bananas"

The Spoof understands that Manilow then became abusive towards staff and told the Maitre'D that 'he'd deck' him if he didn't take the fishy item off the bill. It was only then that they realised that he was in fact Barney Manilow, the Barry Manilow tribute act from Esher and not in fact the famous multi-millionaire American crooner Barry Manilow himself.

"Cor strewth! Talk about a laugh?" said veteran comedian and host of Sunday Night at the London Palladium, Jimmy Tarbuck, who happened to be at an adjacent table with his pal Kenny Lynch.

"They thought that he was Barry but he really was Barney and that's what caused the mix-up. They got the wrong bloke you see?" laughed the loveable golf-playing scouser, who we reckon is starting to lose it. Rambling on and on as he was. It's hardly any wonder the doctors told him to knock Strictly Come Dancing on the head.

A spokesman for the Ivy said:

"All in a night's business for us and pretty small beer compared to some rucks that we've had in here. You should see Wossy and Gervais when they kick off"

Barry Manilow was unavailable for comment today as we have no way of contacting him or haven't a scooby-doo who his agent is.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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