Man On Bus Was Talking Absolute Shit

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 15 June 2016

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image for Man On Bus Was Talking Absolute Shit
The incident took place on a bus just like this

A passenger on a bus in the northern city of Hull was said by another man sitting close by, to be speaking 'total shit', it has been reported.

Moys Kenwood, 51, was travelling on an East Yorkshire service 121 to Beverley this afternoon, when a gentleman in front of him started talking to a woman sitting next to him in a "loud voice so that everyone else could hear him", according to Kenwood.

"It wasn't only the volume at which he was speaking, but also the content of the conversation, which I found to be extremely nauseating," moaned the moaner.

He went on:

"They first spoke about last night's episode of Emmerdale, and then moved on to the surviving contestants in the confusingly popular Britain's Got Talent, neither of which is my favourite show."

Other passengers craned their necks to see what all the commotion was about, and the driver of the bus eventually parked in a lay-by and asked the couple to "shut the fuck up", if they didn't mind.

Later Kenwood spoke privately to the bus driver about the incessant and very loud smalltalk, and was told:

"Aw, fuck off, you turd!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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