Written by LEDHEAD

Friday, 3 April 2015

image for World's first perpetual bounce football prototype lost during first presentation.
The Go-Go Super football before it's epic journey up North.

You may remember Ralph Effelburger and his failed invention the Airmet, the world's first airbag motor cycle helmet. Well he's back again after the launch of the Go-Go perpetual football which went seriously wrong for him at the Marriott Hotel car park in London.

Ralph for the last decade has been trying to introduce super ball qualities into the humble football. Using a secret list of complex plastics, the ball was supposed to have the qualities of extra height and distance and given a new twist to modern gaming.

However, during his demonstration at the Marriott, in front of half a dozen journalists, Ralph kicked his ball an amazing 500 yards into the distance and that was that. He wasn't able to retrieve his ball, thanked his audience and darted of in his Ford Mondeo in chase of his prototype.

Unknown to Mr Effelburger was the fact that the ball really was perpetual and had started on a 600 mile journey up north. Chaos and carnage ensued as it made its way up the A1, bouncing dangerously between cars and trucks and causing a multiple pile up just outside Peterborough. It eventually made the top breaking story on Sky News who were perusing the ball in a helicopter. Things were made worse as it entered St James' Park in Newcastle and was kicked in error by Dutch footballer Siem de Jong.

As millions of viewers watched in awe in the safety of their homes, the ball was seen to come to end as it found its way into the North Sea. Ralph Effelburger is currently being sought by police who want to question him about the incident.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: balls




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