Poor Blackout of solar eclipse blamed for scuppered robbery

Funny story written by LEDHEAD

Saturday, 21 March 2015

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Armed police swat another O'Reilly robbery in broad day light.

The O'Reilly Twins from Westerhailes in Edinburgh were caught red handed boarding a number 25 bus just two minutes after raiding the Sparkles Jewellery Emporium on Friday. Using the solar eclipse as cover, at approximately 9.30am, the bungling robbers entered the jewellers dressed completely from head to toe in black.

According to DCI Frank Butterworth from the Lothian and Borders Police, they pulled down their masks and entered the Emporium just as the eclipse had dulled Edinburgh. 'The unlucky neds were counting on their exit from the scene to be completely dark outside. Instead, they wandered out from the shop into broad day light. They were easily spotted by cops leaving as they were the only ones creaping, heads down, with loot draped around their necks. We were, just like the rest of the public, looking upwards through our improvised pin hole viewers when the alarm went off', he said.

The pair's last grab for freedom was eventually dashed when they attempted to board a bus heading westwards from Princes Street. They were ultimately stopped when a group of Chinese exchange students stood in front of them at the bus top arguing with the driver about how to get to the zoo.

This now brings the total of failed robberies to sixteen for the O'Reilly Twins. The most infamous of which was the the G4 armoured van raid at the Gyle in Edinburgh in 2005. Both Tam and Shamus O'Reilly, as you will recall, were nailed by the police after failing to fuel their getaway car prior to the robbery. Both had served a ten year stretch for their efforts and were out on probation when the Emporium rade took place.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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