Written by LEDHEAD

Thursday, 12 March 2015

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You may recall David Cameron's hoax phone call back in January this year from a chap high on marijuana and cocaine pretending to be director of GCHQ.

Mr Cameron, as you will remember, claimed not to be fooled and quickly hung up his blackberry. As it turns out, Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg was enthralled by the incident and admitted being doubled up in laughter on hearing about the call.

As you can imagine, this irked Mr Cameron and a war of practical jokes kicked off between leader of the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats.

It began with a prank pulled by Mr Cameron who stapled a ripe mackerel to the underside of Mr Clegg' s desk.

After a few days the smell had become so unbearable that the whole floor of those offices at Westminister had to be evacuated. Janitor Terry Scott questioned Mr Clegg' s hygiene and the office eventually stripped and cleaned. Mr Clegg' s retaliation on the PM was quick and efficient, surprising some in own party.

A week later, whilst Mr Cameron was having his usual three or four whiskeys at one of the members bars, Clegg snuck in to his office and placed cling film over the PM' s private toilet seat, super glued his phone handset to its cradle, drew a moustache on Mrs Thatcher' s photograph and placed a number of bangers in the Cuban cigars for visiting dignatories.

As expected, all hell went wild the following day as the PM sat smoking a cigar whilst using the toilet. Since then ministers have witnessed incidents involving blue soap, a boot polished telescope, a squirting lapel flower, stink bombs, a lady's thong being stuffed into a briefcase, numerous hoax calls, a cherry bomb misadventure and most worrying of all, a sex advert for services from a girl called Samantha left on a pay phone in the members bar.

The pair have calmed down after being spoken to by the Speaker of the House who was terribly hacked off at their private schoolboy antics. Both men were caught sobbing afterwards and slightly remorseful at their actions.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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