Written by D P Whitehead

Monday, 5 January 2015

image for Palace Deny Duke of York Had 10,000 Men
One Does Not Approve Of One's Brother Having Ten Thousand Men

Buckingham Palace issued a new denial Sunday of allegations that the Grand Old Duke of York ever 'had' 10,000 men.

The ten thousand men, identified in legal documents only as "John Doe #1 - #1000," have alleged, in a child's nursery rhyme, that they were forced, against their will, to 'march up to the top of a hill, and then marched down again.'

One of the men told reporters 'when we were up, he was up, and when we were down, he went down' an obvious reference, though not confirmed, that the Duke obtained an erection after witnessing the 10,000 men become sexually aroused, and according the man, that when the men began performing oral sex - the Duke joined in.

The man continued, 'and when we were only half-way up, we were neither up nor down'. This reporter can think of no sexual innuendo for this comment only apart from they were having 'lazy lob 'on's''.

In a strongly-worded response on Friday, Buckingham Palace said that "any suggestion of impropriety with ten thousand men is categorically untrue".

But the palace took the unusual step of issuing a second statement after British Sunday newspapers printed details of a well known English nursery rhyme - popular in the United Kingdom.

"It is emphatically denied that the Duke of York had any form of sexual contact or relationship" with the men, the palace said.

"The allegations made are false and without any foundation."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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