Written by Patrick Parkinson

Thursday, 14 August 2014

image for Police now searching random 70's pop singers houses in hope to find evidence of sexual offences

In a bold attempt to clamp down on historic sexual offences against minors or women, the London Metropolitan Police have decided to randomly searched all homes of pop singers and TV presenters from the 1970's, with the aim of finding some evidence of sexual assaults on women.

"Rather than waiting for people to come forward, we have instead been watching old episodes of "Top of the Pops"," said Scotland Yard's spokesman Donald Wiltshire. "We then search the house of anyone who has appeared on the TV show in some form.

"It's better than sitting around and waiting for the next victim to report a sexual offence - we already know they'll be accusing someone who was famous 40 years ago, and they were probably a singer or TV star. Why not go to the root of the problem?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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