Facebook to Launch 'Babybook' This Summer

Written by Jack Allen

Thursday, 15 May 2014

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image for Facebook to Launch 'Babybook' This Summer
'Like' if you agree he's the cutest kid that's ever lived. You'd better fucking like!

A website created by Facebook for parents to create accounts for their new-born babies is to be launched this Summer, to a chorus of "thank fuck" from regular Facebook users.

Insufferable parents will be able to create and control their child's profile until they turn 13, at which time the profile will automatically transfer onto the full Facebook website. According to early reports, Babybook has been created by Facebook in an attempt to bring back its dejected users.

With timelines being consistently filled up with baby pictures, baby related GIFS and long winded status' about how a child has carried out a world first (walking unaided), complaints from users have skyrocketed over the past 14 months.

"Fuck", stated 27 year old self-confessed Facebook addict Jon Williamson. "Everyone who I went to Amsterdam with for 2 weeks in 2011 are now Dads and are apparently too grown up and busy to even go out for a pint at the pub! Funny that, as I logged into Facebook last Tuesday and James had uploaded a 5 minute fully edited video compiling the first 3 months of his kid's life. What a nob".

Facebook oddly apologised today to their loyal users because they "should have acted sooner to keep their core consumers happy".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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